Seeing as though here at the Shades of Wellness we are fundamentally rooted in women and their wellness, we are sending love and light to all women everywhere as we continue to celebrate National Women’s Month!
In a world where being “Booked and Busy” is the highest aspiration, there is an immense value placed on excelling at a million things at once: while simultaneously not skipping a beat. When sleep and rest become a luxury and the monotony of the hustle and grind become primary – It leaves one to ask, what is my “why” even rooted in anymore? Behold, unpacking the balancing act of our friend BURN OUT. Burn out (or the feeling of being exhausted to the point of no return), is something that I believe we ALL subconsciously internalize. As a woman, from the moment we open our eyes, there are a million and one tasks to complete. Not to mention, we also have the additional pressure of presenting perfectly with minimal to no flaws and do not have the luxury of making mistakes. (God, forbid we do something human-like accidentally do something incorrectly!)
As mothers, business owners, career women, partners etc., we wear so many hats which unfortunately more times than others; primarily serve other people and not ourselves. It leaves one to question, “is burn out synonymous with success”? If you are walking fully in your appointed purpose, can you ever be truly burned-out? It seems like so many of us struggle to find that balance and are doing ourselves a disservice along the way. The trope of being the strong black woman, who swoops in and saves the day is outdated sis, and quite frankly is killing us. Why is so much of our validity as women rooted in our proximity to labor? Why do we equate rest or taking PTO to be lazy or non-productive? Why do we feel the need to ALWAYS show up for everybody all the time, or else we will be deemed disloyal or undependable? *taps on shoulder and whispers*Because, It’s a trauma response!
As women, especially those of us who are women of color– we have had to historically work twice as hard to simply be taken seriously. Subsequently, when we finally enter the room and can have a seat at the table, we are programmed to think that we are forever indebted to remain of value. It also doesn’t help that we are constantly being force-fed images of what a strong black woman should be and how instrumental our role is to everyone except us. Newsflash, it is indeed a new day. We are not superheroes; we are not everyone’s bare bottom solution. We are human and journeying through life just like everyone else – and are quite frankly TIRED.
As I scroll through social media, there seems to be an intentional and cultural shift amongst women and our toxic relationship with “burnout “culture. Our Codependency with it is blatantly being called to the carpet. It’s like we created a massive group chat and decided “YEA, NO” and all are on the same page about what we mean without even having to explain it. There is an influx of women proudly promoting luxury, leisure, and prioritizing their mental health. We are doing away with the old nuance of overworking just for the sake of having to. We are intentionally asking for help, and holding people accountable while being unwavering on our expectations – I love that for us! The intention has shifted deservingly onto ease, peace, and softness.
However, some of us may feel like we are criticized for being goal-oriented and succeeding. Abundance is your birthright, but how can you present as your best self when you aren’t in the right headspace to do so? The cliché goes, you cannot pour from an empty glass and it will forever reign true. The girls are taking naps, prioritizing routine self-care, fine dining, traveling etc.; all in the name of us wanting to. I encourage you this month to find the thing that levels you. You can’t save everybody, and it’s not your job too. Your validation is contrived of who you are as a person, the nature of your heart, your core values, and how you carry yourself as a woman. Not on how many hours you worked this week or how booked you are. We must continue shifting this narrative, to normalize rest, recharging and resetting. Could you imagine just driving your car into the ground and never going to get it serviced for maintenance? Despite what society, burnout work culture, and social media tirelessly promote, remember that overexerting yourself to the point of self-negligence is not healthy nor should it be glamourized. On the everlasting journey to “chase the bag”, let’s remember to keep pouring into ourselves positively as we continue to drink our water, attend therapy, take our vitamins, rest, and pray as we continue to level up.
With Love Xoxo,